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It Could Be Worse: Jobs That (Might) Suck: Part One


For you my friends who have seen this recent post of mine may wonder why I posted this picture? Cheap laughs? Some attention? Maybe both.

There was a joke about a man who experiences a series of misfortunes and ends with being bitten by a tick while in the woods. His doctor tells him he must check his temperature every two hours via rectal thermometer. As he reads the instructions, he reads something in fine print: "Every rectal thermometer made by JOHNSON & JOHNSON is inspected and tested." He then realizes his life isn't so bad. It could be worse; he could test rectal thermometers full-time as a job.

So, with that being said, I found this Ripley's Believe or Not comic strip about Philip Wells, a man whose job is to taste test [organic] dog food. Even though he says he enjoys it, what kind of person rushes out to taste test dog food?

How do you even apply for that kind of job, taste testing pet food? What qualities or prerequisites must one have to be accepted into pet food taste testing?

In the case of dog food taste tester, I am guessing one of the qualities you need to have is the ability to lick your own crotch. If you can physically lick your own crotch, that alone should qualify you to be dog food taste tester!

I wonder what an application for a dog food taste tester looks like? Would it have written on there: "Have you ever eaten dog food before? [  ] Yes [  ] No" "If you marked 'yes,' for how long have you eaten dog food? [  ] Less than 6 months; [  ] More than 6 months; [  ] So damn poor, have eaten it your whole life" Maybe there are other relevant questions like: "Do you like to chase after cars? [  ] Yes [  ] No; If you marked YES, do you chase cars with your dog? [  ] Yes [  ] No" "Can you physically lick your privates? [  ] Yes [  ] No"

How can you gauge from a human perspective whether the dog food would be successful or not? Most people don't lick their own asses or eat fecal matter, so really what can you base that on? Of course, I am being silly and this can be viewed more or less as a rhetorical question.

I bet career day at school would be awkward..."My daddy is a policeman." "My mommy is a real estate agent." "My dad taste tests dog food for Purina."

I also wonder if it gets awkward at home. Would Philip Wells bring his work home? Worse yet, instead of taking his family out to McDonald's or Cracker Barrel, he brings home wet and dry dog food home for dinner?

I think the only advantage I can see a career in pet food taste testing would be is you can eat anything!

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Robin B. Czar
Maybe physically licking the privates of a dog and eating its arse qualified him! And now he makes more money than as a tester for rectal thermometers!
Bob Ghoulio
Yeah and probably not as painful or embarrassing. If you're a child of someone whose job it is to test rectal thermometers and someone asks what your parent does for a living, they have to make up an excuse like, "My dad taste tests dog food."
Robin B. Czar
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